Ahhh, fall. Perhaps the most poetic time of year. A time of change, a time of reflection. A time of harvest, certainly, but also a time where lessening light and waning heat mean some things just… die off. Like flowers in gardens, leaves on trees, and, often, the relationships of young people.
That's right, if you're a first-year college student in a relationship that's carried over from high school, it's worth noting that your relationship might be in danger right now. Whether you're going to the same school or schools in the same city or not, you and your significant other are probably spending a lot of time apart as compared to the heady days of your youth. Which is fine. Sometimes.
But maybe… just maybe… what's going on is lockering.
That's what AskMen is calling the trend of slowly freezing your significant other out of your life and blaming your studies when what's really going on is you're spending more time with new, exciting people and your main squeeze is starting to feel a little unexciting.
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The truth is, when you start losing feelings for someone, it can be hard to know what to do. You know that your newfound emotional situation will be hurtful to your partner, but how do you explain it to them without breaking their heart? And how do you know for sure that this is the new normal and not just a phase?
Lockering is the direct result of that. You’re getting phased out, but there’s a handy excuse: It’s just schoolwork! I’m really focusing on my grades this semester. I want to do the best that I can. You don’t want me to fail my classes, do you?
Of course, the real reason is far from a passion for academic excellence. The real reason is that, frankly, you’re probably headed for one of those dreaded turkey dumps. That horrifying phrase, which sounds like something you wouldn’t want to experience at dinner, is actually… well it’s also something you wouldn’t want to experience at dinner, but for a different reason.
Getting turkey dumped is when you get dumped over Thanksgiving break by your partner, typically during your first semester of college, because your partner has realized that the world is bigger and more exciting than they thought and a high school relationship just isn't cutting it anymore.
Of course, you might not be in the midst of getting lockered. Maybe your partner really is committing hard to studying. But even if you can't spend all night talking to each other right before the chem exam, it never hurts to check in here and there with a cute text or a little romantic message, just to let your significant other know you haven't dropped off the face of the earth.
And worst-case scenario? If all that radio silence really does mean you were getting lockered, and it does lead to a breakup you can always get back into the game with online dating.
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